Just A Little

We were done. We were clear. We had started to put it behind us.

We had a party. We sang. We laughed. We took pictures and painted our faces, and ate pink popcorn.

We went camping. We went swimming. We went hiking. We began to retake our lives.

And then... And then it happened. Just a scan to check things out, make sure we were still good.

But why, Dad? Why do I need the IV? Can't we wait 6 months for the scan? Please?

We need to do it, sweetie. What if it comes back? Wouldn't you want to know sooner? So we can get rid of it?

...

Dad, you were right. I'm glad you made me do the scan.

Back in the hospital Back on the chemo. Back to juggling life and disease, trying to fight a dual battle and doing poorly at both.

Back to updates, well wishes and offers of help. Back to dodging and evading your own thoughts about what if... What if it doesn't work?

But there's no time to be sad or bathe in self pity. Forge on. Keep going. Prepare for the next battle.

But sometimes, you just need to sit. Sit quietly, like Ferdinand, and smell the flowers. And cry.

Just a little.