Graduation

Well, July is coming to a close, and our journey continues into August. School will start tomorrow. For Finley and Cadence, it will be back to life as usual (or as usual as it can be) and Harper will be learning all about home-bound school.

Its been 2 & 1/2 months since the diagnosis. It is absolutely amazing to me that that much time has gone by. I'm not sure we're having fun, but it's flying. The school year was just winding down when she first went into the hospital.

Harper continues her chemo. This round (and the next) are weekly treatments. Fortunately, the first week is the only inpatient stay, with week 2 & 3 (of a 3-week round) just an outpatient visit to the clinic, where they push in the vincristine (which is pretty much like her daily flushes). We'll be back inpatient the week after next.

It's a little tough knowing Harper will basically start falling behind tomorrow. She won't be getting the same instruction as all her classmates. I mean, I'm sure she'll be able to catch up later, but she's never shown as much enthusiasm for learning and school as Cadence, and I worry for her. I worry that staying home she won't learn as quickly.

I'm afraid there'll be too many distractions. I'm afraid it will be too easy for her to put off her work, or find something else to do. I know Melissa will be on her - with the TV and Harper's iPad off limits until she does her school work, but there will be bad days. There will be days, probably following chemo, or for a pretty long stretch after surgery, where we'll lay off her, and she'll slip farther and farther behind.

But then I think about what she is learning. I think about the skills, strengths and attitude that her other classmates aren't learning. I don't wish those lessons on them - but I can't help but ponder the advantages that she may have because of her experience.

She knows what it is to fear for her life, and rise above it, learning to enjoy it, despite the fear. She knows what it's like to submit to something that she knows will be unpleasant - that will hurt, and still do it willingly, because the benefit outweighs the pain. She knows that there are some things that, while we hate them, are worth doing because of the greater end goal - even if that end goal is not certain.

She knows things now that any parent would wish to prevent their child from ever knowing, and yet... And yet she is stronger for it. I've seen in her the growth of emotional strength beyond that which many adults could muster. Not constant, mind you, but there, and growing.

I've seen determination, and even confidence when faced with standing out in a crowd, because of her bald head - and yet she knows she is pretty - on the outside and especially on the inside. And she knows it not because we told her. She knows it because she told herself. I see it.

When this is over, and if she wins... No. No, I keep saying that wrong. I keep showing a weakness she herself doesn't show.

When this is over, and she wins - when she beats this terrible disease - when she beats the odds, she will go on in life a wiser, stronger, more intelligent and cunning young lady than any of her peers. Her prospects will be better than any of her friends, because she will have the skills, strengths, and learned lessons few others will be able to boast - and they will help her on her journey to something great.

I don't know what that great something will be. But I know she will be it. I know she will.

And a few days of 3rd grade missed will be nothing.

Back to school for most - but for Harper, she never really left it - she just moved up to an advanced class on life. And I see an amazing graduation in her future.