Little Things

Things happen. Life happens. Cancer happens. It sucks, I don't understand why it happens, but it does.

God won't give you anything you can't handle - or so some saying goes - or something similar. What do people know? We're just mortal, imperfect, often incorrect beings. How can we say for sure?

Big things happen. Diagnosis. Surgery. Chemo. Blood transfusions. CT scans that put us on pins and needles waiting to hear the results. Lots of big things. More big things than should be shoved into a single, short period of time.

But little things happen. A plate or bowl - emptied. A joke - laughed at. A smile - hidden, but there. An outlook - slowly brightening. A tooth - loose and then out. Anticipation of visitation from a fairy.

And then things happen close to home. A neighbor is in a horrible accident. His legs and feet crushed. His life and limbs spared miraculously, but pain ahead in recovery.

And things happen far away - to people you don't know. A little girl, who battled cancer for 6 years, touching millions with her makeup artistry and awareness spread through a celebrity - taken. A girl who would have been Harper's age when she was diagnosed. A girl who had a cancer of the adrenal glands - located eerily close to the kidney - where Harper's comes from. A girl who fought with an incredible optimism - that was unfortunately for naught except for her legacy of hope that remains.

And what can we do? Nothing. Despite any desire to hide, steal away, cover up and refuse to acknowledge - things happen. And they keep happening. Good. Bad. Things do not stop. They do not slow. Only with ever increasing speed do they seem to occur.

But - when we can, we stop. We stop and enjoy. Enjoy the steady breathing of a child asleep next to you. Enjoy the smile quickly smirked and then gone. Enjoy the weight on the scale - higher than last time. Enjoy the comment that, you know what, I don't feel like I'm going to die anymore. Enjoy the tooth hidden happily under a pillow.

Maybe we can or can't handle the Big things. We won't really know until they're over. Until then, I'm going to try my damnedest to keep reminding myself to try to enjoy the little things. Because sometimes the little things are all you've got.