It's hard

I haven't posted in some time. Partly because its been busier since we've been home, going back and forth. But, mostly because I've been tired, and finding it harder to put the words down. In any event, I suppose I should bring you up to speed.

Last time I posted, we were in the middle of chemo round 2. That chemo round is finished, with few to any real side effects. Amazingly, she seems symptomatically unphased by the chemo, excepting for her fatigue. I find it incredible that she's able to handle them pumping her full of what amounts to medicinal poison.

Since then she's been outwardly on a very slow upswing. Oh sure, there are up days and down days, but overall, she's been doing a little better. After recovering from the chemo, her energy has improved.

Tuesday she went out to the barn with her sisters. Don't tell the doctors, but she did get on a pony and was led around. She's still not really strong enough (we think) for her to control it on her own, but she was able to do something that she thought she couldn't. Wed afternoon, after putting her central line under an aqua guard and wrapping her in kitchen plastic wrap, she even waded in a neighbor's pool for a few minutes. We called it swimming.

Wednesday wmorning e were back to hospital, for a CT scan. We also found out her neutrophil count was zero and she needed blood. So. After spending all day at the hospital and clinic for blood and a CT scan, we had to go home and spend a few hours convincing Harper to let us give her a dose of Neupogen.

Monday we're planning to start her Stem Cell Harvest, so we actually are giving her a Neupogen shot each day. It's joyous (said in a sarcastic tone). On top of that, she will go in for surgery Monday AM to insert an additional large IV catheter for the harvest. They will use it and her central line to take blood out, filter out and collect the stem cells, and then put the blood back. We'll do that daily until they get enough to freeze. In the end, they want at least enought to do 3 transplants. We're hoping they get it all on Monday, but we're not holding our breath.

As before, she really doesn't like the shots. They scare her, and I know they hurt. I completely understand why she fights us. But she also knows why we're doing it. If only that made it easier.

So, we'll continue. Tomorrow she'll get a breathing treatment as a preventative measure against pneumonia. Sunday a nurse will come out to check her levels. Monday we'll start the harvest. Thursday we'll talk with the doctors about the results of the scan.

Another round of chemo and surgery are somewhere in the immediate future too.

Day by day we're getting there. Day by day, she is fighting.

It's hard.