Hoping For An Infection

We're hoping for an infection.

Yeah, I know. It's a bizarre statement, but accurate. We really are currently hoping for an infection.

Thursday of last week, Harper was not acting well. After a decent day Wednesday, she slept most of Thursday day, eating little and throwing up. We were less than a week post chemo, and with it being stronger stuff, we attributed how she felt to the chemo.

I laid in bed with her that night. Yes, we're back in the "bad" habit of someone snuggling with her all night. In a normal parenting situation, I'd agree it's not a good precedent. But in the case of cancer, I'm okay with it. We all can use all the snuggles we can get.

At 3am Friday I woke up and she was burning up. I got the thermometer and she registered 103.2 - not good. A quick phone call to the on-call oncologist, and Harper and I were headed to the hospital.

She's been there ever since, on fluids, throwing up, diarrhea, and fighting the fever. She's slept a lot and only nibbled without bringing it back up.

They've tested her urine - no urinary tract infection. They've done daily blood cultures - so far not a thing has grown. But the fever has not relented - only controlled by Tylenol.

We could chock it all up to the chemo, but 10 days after her last dose seems an excessive time to still be having nausea (the neutropenia I understand).

It makes us very nervous about what's to come. A week from tomorrow, she's scheduled to start another round. Will it go the same way? If this chemo works, how will her body react once they up the dose/duration for a transplant? It's scary to consider - and Melissa would be right there with her, the entire time, with no break.

So, our current hope is something they said today they would test for - C. diff. The symptoms fit - diarrhea, fever, loss of appetite, cramping, vomiting... And it can occur with chemo.

If it IS C. diff, then maybe we won't have to worry so much about the next round of chemo. I mean, yes, it will suck - but maybe it won't suck as much as this has, because maybe this is not just the chemo.

Strange as it sounds, it would actually be a RELIEF to learn that Harper has an infection. It would put our minds a bit more at ease in a situation where little ease is anywhere to be found.

So, here's hoping for an infection.