I'm sorry

I've used this platform (my blog) to complain some about being a "single dad" while Melissa and Harper have been in the hospital undergoing stem cell transplants.  I've publicly lamented my situation because I'm not accustomed to being solely responsible for the entire operation of our household and supporting the comings, goings and activities of 2/3rd of our children along with trying to work full time.

Last night, with Cadence and Finley safely sleeping over at a friend's house, I went down to Kosair to give Melissa a few hours break.  After last night, I have reconsidered some of my previous rantings and would like to issue the following statement:

Melissa - I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for sometimes secretly questioning the amount of work you put in at home on an everyday basis.  After the past couple of months I have a new appreciation for what it takes to make a household function and how hard you work.

I'm sorry for the travel my job sometimes requires, leaving you home to tend to everything alone. While I maintain there is much work involved when I travel, including what I would normally accomplish in my job as well as the objective of the travel itself, I realize that what little I actually do at home is then compounded on top of what you already do.

I'm sorry that you have born the brunt of the effort in helping Harper through this terrible ordeal. After last night, with me staying with Harper for a single night while you got some much needed sleep, I can better appreciate the hardship you are enduring.  Living life in a 12x12 room; interruptions every 2 hours (minimum) 24/7; dealing with seeing your own daughter in constant anguish; not knowing if the pain of this process will ultimately bring the healing we pray for - I am in awe of your patience and of your strength.

A woman's love comes in many forms, and the forms you are displaying now are a testament to your character and reinforces my love for and dedication to you.  I could not ask for a better wife, and I pray your daughters someday come to truly appreciate the gift that you are as their mother.

I am not the man you always need me to be, but you are always the woman you shouldn't have to be.

We will get through this. Not because anyone (including me) says it will be so - but because of you.

I am so lucky. I am so very grateful for you. For the items above, for other things I likely don't even realize or remember and for the hardship you are enduring - I'm sorry.