Hurry up and Wait (Day 1)

A common saying and reality from my days in the Army was "Hurry up and Wait." We were constantly moving very fast for a short period of time, followed by long stints of sitting and boredom. Our experience so far with Harper at the hospital is very similar.

After being told there was a "growth" on her kidney by the pediatrician, we moved quickly to get to the hospital. Once we arrived, we went through "Admit Express" which bypassed the ER. (Thank goodness). But there we sat for a couple of hours as we waited for someone "upstairs" to be discharged and the room to be cleaned. We were happy to wait for that... I've checked into a dirty hotel room before - I can only imagine a dirty hospital room.

While in admit express, they put in Harper's (first) IV catheter. Harper was lucky enough to inherit a healthy fear of needles from both sides of the family. In fact, when we first told her she was sick and needed to go to the hospital, her only worry was about needles. It hasn't changed much since...

So, her first IV was put in by a nurse who was incredible. She'd obviously been working with peds for a long time, and she was confident, commanding and gentle all at the same time. She talked Harper off the ledge several times, all while prepping the site and putting in the catheter. Harper took it quite well, and demonstrated her internal strength, as Melissa stood outside demonstrating the good genes she'd given that helped provide Harper with her needle anxiety.

Once the room was ready, we were shuttled up stair. Harper was actually pretty thrilled to ride in a wheelchair for the first time. (Something tells me she'll be pretty much over it by the time we get out of here). There was a flurry of activity as we settled into the room, met the nurses, the doctors rounded through, etc.

There was lots and lots going on, people in and out, but little information about what we should expect to happen next. My guess is that, well honestly, they didn't know. There was talk of surgery. Then discussion of a biopsy. We met at least 6 different doctors - surgical team, oncology team, etc. A central line? It all starts to blur a little. Maybe something over the weekend. More imaging studies? Something happening on Monday? (This was Friday night.)

The first night was rough. Not much sleep was had by anyone. As comfy as the waterproof convertible chair looked, it certainly didn't have the comfort of my bed at home. And the every hour or two wake up was reminiscent of having just brought a newborn home (but at least I wasn't changing diapers).

The first day brought choked tears, incredible anxiety, and exhaustion that was followed by little sleep. Lets hope the coming days are better. Lets hope it can only go up from here. Lets hope the days get better. I'm gonna hurry up and wait.