The Bad Guy

Every story needs a villain. Every hero needs a counterpart. Well, it would seem that, at least for the time being, I have joined the dark side and am now classified as "evil" in Harper's mind.

Thursday we went into the Hemotology/Oncology Clinic (doctor's office) for our first visit. As part of that, she had blood drawn from her line (twice), her BP, height, weight and temp were taken, and she was examined by multiple doctors and residents. No big deal so far.

Her neutrophil counts had been so low (zero) just 2 days before, and we are scheduled to be admitted next week for another round of chemo. But, they won't give the next round of chemo if her neutrophils are low. And they also wont give the chemo if she's recently had the Neupogen. In order to keep on schedule (and prevent infection) they wanted to give her another Neupogen dose.

Well, if you've been reading along, you know Harper's not a fan of needles, so shots are not on her list of things she likes. Normally, this would not have been a bad things for me personally, as the nurses usually give it, and she can get mad at them just fine - and they're used to it.

But, since we will be giving the Neupogen at home, and I'll likely be the one giving it, the nurse suggested I give her the injection. Not hard, really, and I knew she wouldn't like it, but she wasn't going to like it no matter who gave it. I gave injections and drew blood in the Army as a medic, and I gave thousands of flu shots as a pharmacist.

I gave her the shot, no big deal, at first.

But since I gave her the shot, she really wants nothing to do with me. She drew a picture yesterday showing how her mom and her friend were good and nice, but she marked a picture of me "evil" and drew a thumbs down for me, where everyone else got a thumbs up. I'm thrilled she's drawing, and doing something other than watch TV, but evil?

So, apparently, now, with my connection to and willingness to give her shots, I'm now a bad guy. But you know what? I'm really ok with that.

The Neupogen keeps her white counts up. Sure, it costs almost $3,000 a box, but if it keeps her out of the hospital and without infections, I'm all in.

If needed, I'll even be the bad guy.